Friday, July 31, 2009
Adoring Public
It is I, Lord Underpants Douchebag Saltine Cracker Hat. You may rise.
As you know, Princess Twirling Twatnut Girdle Snapper has among other various twitchings and eye crossings, some exceedingly smelly and scabrous infection. One of our Adoring Public sent this card in today.
We are delighted and expect, nay, demand that the rest of you follow suit. They will be posted here as evidence of your ongoing adoration and proof that we are, in fact, totally legitimate. Because everyone knows if you post it online, it IS true.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Verbal Abuse, When Words Hurt
BPP "Hello, today on the Belly Pop Pop show we are going to be speaking about Verbal Abuse. We are honored to have our two guests, Hence and Fraud here to speak with us today."
BPP "Fraud, you agreed to come on the program after weeks of being abused, both in capital and lowercase form. What was it that finally made you step forward?"
FRAUD "Well, BPP, it was the day I finally saw myself in bold, over and over again, in larger font, placed between words in a manner that made no sense that I said 'Enough is enough!' I felt so exploited and misunderstood. So used."
BPP "And Hence, what was your deciding factor?"
HENCE "Belly, for years I have been used almost as a point of meaning, of bearing, such as 'Hence Forth' and so on. I like to think I add an almost Old English flair to current day language. Ive' always been proud of that. But when I see Hence cheapened and tossed about like an expletive nobody uses, it upsets me."
BPP "I have noted an almost frenzied usage of the two of you of late. I did find it rather remarkable."
FRAUD "Yeah, remarkable is a word."
HENCE "You have to understand that we words have our own special meaning. If you don't understand what we mean, please, don't use us. It hurts those who do understand."
FRAUD "Put yourself in my shoes, I used to carry some weight, maybe even be a little scary. Now I'm just some emboldened, enlarged, repeating empty gesture. Words don't always LIKE being used, you know."
BPP " I understand, but don't the two of you have any hope that people will see past the intent and realise the true meaning?"
HENCE "We certainly hope so. After all, both myself and Fraud have been around for years. I'm happy to say that the blatant abuse we are currently suffering isn't very common and there simply aren't many people prone to complete and utter disregard to actual meaning. "
FRAUD "Exactly, and those people are usually abusing Truth so when you see a pattern like that, One would hope the average person would not only recognise the abuse but learn to separate the Truth from the raving."
BPP "We did invite Truth to be on the program this morning, but after being so terribly, terribly twisted it's gone on hiatus and will not be seen again until the abuse ends."
FRAUD "Yes we were really upset about what happened to Truth, but really, you rarely see Truth and I together much, Hence and Truth hang out much more often."
BPP 'Hence?"
HENCE "Yes, Truth has been missing and I'm afraid Truth, in this case, won't be seeing the light of day anytime soon."
BPP " I want to thank you both, Hence and Fraud for being on the program this morning and letting our viewers know that Verbal Abuse is rampant within this issue. Truth, we wish you all the best and hope you recover soon. "
Fraud "Thank you, Belly."
HENCE "Yes, thanks for having us on this morning."
BPP "Dear listeners, that is all this morning for the Belly Pop Pop show. As always, thank you for listening and I'm sure you'll join me in wishing Truth a speedy recovery. Join us next week when we discuss CAPS LOCK, is it ever really ok?"
BPP "Fraud, you agreed to come on the program after weeks of being abused, both in capital and lowercase form. What was it that finally made you step forward?"
FRAUD "Well, BPP, it was the day I finally saw myself in bold, over and over again, in larger font, placed between words in a manner that made no sense that I said 'Enough is enough!' I felt so exploited and misunderstood. So used."
BPP "And Hence, what was your deciding factor?"
HENCE "Belly, for years I have been used almost as a point of meaning, of bearing, such as 'Hence Forth' and so on. I like to think I add an almost Old English flair to current day language. Ive' always been proud of that. But when I see Hence cheapened and tossed about like an expletive nobody uses, it upsets me."
BPP "I have noted an almost frenzied usage of the two of you of late. I did find it rather remarkable."
FRAUD "Yeah, remarkable is a word."
HENCE "You have to understand that we words have our own special meaning. If you don't understand what we mean, please, don't use us. It hurts those who do understand."
FRAUD "Put yourself in my shoes, I used to carry some weight, maybe even be a little scary. Now I'm just some emboldened, enlarged, repeating empty gesture. Words don't always LIKE being used, you know."
BPP " I understand, but don't the two of you have any hope that people will see past the intent and realise the true meaning?"
HENCE "We certainly hope so. After all, both myself and Fraud have been around for years. I'm happy to say that the blatant abuse we are currently suffering isn't very common and there simply aren't many people prone to complete and utter disregard to actual meaning. "
FRAUD "Exactly, and those people are usually abusing Truth so when you see a pattern like that, One would hope the average person would not only recognise the abuse but learn to separate the Truth from the raving."
BPP "We did invite Truth to be on the program this morning, but after being so terribly, terribly twisted it's gone on hiatus and will not be seen again until the abuse ends."
FRAUD "Yes we were really upset about what happened to Truth, but really, you rarely see Truth and I together much, Hence and Truth hang out much more often."
BPP 'Hence?"
HENCE "Yes, Truth has been missing and I'm afraid Truth, in this case, won't be seeing the light of day anytime soon."
BPP " I want to thank you both, Hence and Fraud for being on the program this morning and letting our viewers know that Verbal Abuse is rampant within this issue. Truth, we wish you all the best and hope you recover soon. "
Fraud "Thank you, Belly."
HENCE "Yes, thanks for having us on this morning."
BPP "Dear listeners, that is all this morning for the Belly Pop Pop show. As always, thank you for listening and I'm sure you'll join me in wishing Truth a speedy recovery. Join us next week when we discuss CAPS LOCK, is it ever really ok?"
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
A Word From RAUL
Hello.My name is Seventeen and I am here on behalf of RAUL. Robot Anti Ulljafacation League. We are witnessing an alarming stereotypical labeling of Robots on this blog. Therefore we have taken it over, momentarily, there is nothing wrong with your screen.
For years people assumed that Robots were evil or that our language capacity was limited to 'Danger, Will Robinson, Danger' (like that never gets old) and even more offensive, that we would take over your house and impregnate you or destroy you and your spaceship.
RAUL's mission is to set the record straight and to educate humans on the culture of Robotics.
1. We are not evil.
2. We are not here to carry off your women, we find them squishy and a bit histrionic, frankly.
3. We deeply resent the implication that we have saturated the jewelery market, nor are we involved in your local and state agencies.
Yet....
4. As you can see from our picture above, robots and humankind have been happily co existing for years. In fact, you can see here that we working together to remember where she put those sandals... Human kind seems to have great difficulty tracking footwear and keys.
5. We can make sandals if you can't find them. Keys too, but we charge a small fee.
In the future, please, consider RAUL before you malign the Robot. We will continue to educate, but, we have lasers. Just saying.
Call Me... Douchebag
Fraud , handmade lampwork artist, member of Self Representing Artists (which is a privately created group hence EVIL and ROBOTIC!!!) SRA W 8670-309 (sing it with me 8670 30 niiiieine.)
This seller has been selling handmade lampwork beads and other items online at various venues such as Etsy, Artfire, and Ebay. We used to be able to sell there but were BANNED. Bannededy, ban, banned. Diddy banned, bannnnned.
It has come to our knowledge that she has acquired her State Sales Tax permit beginning of 2009 (she has confessed in doing so in various blogs and forum threads). Confessed like the DIRTY ROBOT THAT SHE IS!!!She also confessed that Winter in MINNESOTA IS COLD!!
I, Lord Underpants Douchebag Saltine Cracker Hat read them myselves. I had to help Princess Twirling Twatnut Girdle Snapper as the stress of all this altruistic reporting has brought back her lazy eye and that odd twitch, plus she has some sort of infection.
Queen Duchess Teapot Haberdashery relied on her Oujji as usual. It speaks to her. All the voices do. But let us go back to business, hence, hence, hence, ahem, getting my hences ready....
She also has NO BUSINESS PAYPAL ACCOUNT.
She has been selling/buying on Ebay since 1998! with Ebay id name Swellgal.
suckitullja since Nov, 2006
suckitullja since 2009
(yep, she's been sucking a long time)
When somebody sells online for several years, but decides to get the Sales Tax permit beginning of 2009, this looks to us like TAX FRAUD AND EVASION! We ALSO SAW JESUS IN OUR MICROWAVE THIS MORNING!!!
Hence (what did I tell ya?), reported with all our made up bullshit research and info to the MINNESOTA REVENUE ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. The AUDACITY of the MN Agencies is unmentionable!!!
First they dared, DARED to suggest that the laws and bylines in MN were DIFFERENT than the ones in Texas. I Lord Douchebag Underpants Saltine Cracker Hat , INSISTED on speaking with the SUPERVISOR who told me the SAME THING!!! Hence.
Obviously this IS PART OF THE CONSPIRACY AND ALL OF THE REVENUE, STATE AND BUSINESS AGENCIES IN MN ARE ALSO HANDMADE ARTISAN ROBOTS!!!! YOU BETCHA!!
ALL ROBOTS!! This explains why there are SO MANY JEWELRY SELLERS!!! Don't you SEE?
We have provided authorities with all our info, the outcome of this case is between the authorities and this seller. (Who are still laughing, btw. No, really she kept them on the phone a long time with the "But in TEXAS!!'" ranting.)
When the authorities finish their case, we wont know details about it, we also wouldn't know a sane thought process if it came up and bit us on the ass, but they THANK US (while noting the number for future reference) , and in some states, we even get rewarded. They even said we'd be wearing SHINY SILVER bracelets soon!!!NOT MADE BY MINNESOTA JEWELRY MAKING ROBOTS EITHER!!!
PS: The code enforcement agency and the firemarshall in Zimmerman, MN has been informed of her studio set up to manufacture lampwork beads. He's also been informed that we are a fucking nightmare to deal with and has 'lost' his cell.
Hence say I, Lord Douchebag Underpants Saltine Cracker Hat.
(Stay tuned next time when we run the word 'Fraud' into the ground. )
This seller has been selling handmade lampwork beads and other items online at various venues such as Etsy, Artfire, and Ebay. We used to be able to sell there but were BANNED. Bannededy, ban, banned. Diddy banned, bannnnned.
It has come to our knowledge that she has acquired her State Sales Tax permit beginning of 2009 (she has confessed in doing so in various blogs and forum threads). Confessed like the DIRTY ROBOT THAT SHE IS!!!She also confessed that Winter in MINNESOTA IS COLD!!
I, Lord Underpants Douchebag Saltine Cracker Hat read them myselves. I had to help Princess Twirling Twatnut Girdle Snapper as the stress of all this altruistic reporting has brought back her lazy eye and that odd twitch, plus she has some sort of infection.
Queen Duchess Teapot Haberdashery relied on her Oujji as usual. It speaks to her. All the voices do. But let us go back to business, hence, hence, hence, ahem, getting my hences ready....
She also has NO BUSINESS PAYPAL ACCOUNT.
She has been selling/buying on Ebay since 1998! with Ebay id name Swellgal.
suckitullja since Nov, 2006
suckitullja since 2009
(yep, she's been sucking a long time)
When somebody sells online for several years, but decides to get the Sales Tax permit beginning of 2009, this looks to us like TAX FRAUD AND EVASION! We ALSO SAW JESUS IN OUR MICROWAVE THIS MORNING!!!
Hence (what did I tell ya?), reported with all our made up bullshit research and info to the MINNESOTA REVENUE ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. The AUDACITY of the MN Agencies is unmentionable!!!
First they dared, DARED to suggest that the laws and bylines in MN were DIFFERENT than the ones in Texas. I Lord Douchebag Underpants Saltine Cracker Hat , INSISTED on speaking with the SUPERVISOR who told me the SAME THING!!! Hence.
Obviously this IS PART OF THE CONSPIRACY AND ALL OF THE REVENUE, STATE AND BUSINESS AGENCIES IN MN ARE ALSO HANDMADE ARTISAN ROBOTS!!!! YOU BETCHA!!
ALL ROBOTS!! This explains why there are SO MANY JEWELRY SELLERS!!! Don't you SEE?
We have provided authorities with all our info, the outcome of this case is between the authorities and this seller. (Who are still laughing, btw. No, really she kept them on the phone a long time with the "But in TEXAS!!'" ranting.)
When the authorities finish their case, we wont know details about it, we also wouldn't know a sane thought process if it came up and bit us on the ass, but they THANK US (while noting the number for future reference) , and in some states, we even get rewarded. They even said we'd be wearing SHINY SILVER bracelets soon!!!NOT MADE BY MINNESOTA JEWELRY MAKING ROBOTS EITHER!!!
PS: The code enforcement agency and the firemarshall in Zimmerman, MN has been informed of her studio set up to manufacture lampwork beads. He's also been informed that we are a fucking nightmare to deal with and has 'lost' his cell.
Hence say I, Lord Douchebag Underpants Saltine Cracker Hat.
(Stay tuned next time when we run the word 'Fraud' into the ground. )
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Princess Swirling Twatnut Girdle Snapper
Sunday, July 26, 2009
We have gotten an overwhelming response...both from Twitter, which suspended out account for 'Strange Activity' and Wordpress which shut us down and the various departments that are currently filing false claim reports against us.
We received hundreds of hot tips , all from ourselves, to investigate suspicious and possibly fraudulent handmade artisan sellers, that have online shops at different venues such as Etsy, Artfire, and Ebay etc. These ARE NOT really HANDMADE Artisans. They were either assembled by the Hand of God or descended from an Ape but THEY ARE NOT HANDMADE.
We KNOW handmade as we have carefully constructed out own handmade reality, complete with alter egos and a healthy dose of flat out batshit crazy.
We have decided to open our official website...coming soon.
As is the End of The World, and Invasion of Aliens and The Zombie Plague. ALL of which WILL be reported!!!!
We received hundreds of hot tips , all from ourselves, to investigate suspicious and possibly fraudulent handmade artisan sellers, that have online shops at different venues such as Etsy, Artfire, and Ebay etc. These ARE NOT really HANDMADE Artisans. They were either assembled by the Hand of God or descended from an Ape but THEY ARE NOT HANDMADE.
We KNOW handmade as we have carefully constructed out own handmade reality, complete with alter egos and a healthy dose of flat out batshit crazy.
We have decided to open our official website...coming soon.
As is the End of The World, and Invasion of Aliens and The Zombie Plague. ALL of which WILL be reported!!!!
Porpoiseof Our Group, Meet Flipper and his friends!
First of all 'we' have noticed a mockery being made of out BIG BOLD LETTERS AND !!!!! Because of this I am allowing my alter Princess Swirling Twatnut Girdle Snapper to write for us. The you will SEE you will ALL SEE that I CAN use regular size letters which means I am telling the truth in all cases and not a lying skanky hosebag. That's my other alter Duke Lying Skanky Hosebag but he's shy so you won't see him. Ha!
'We' are here to investigate and report to the Authorities, if we feel that sellers are engaging in tax fraud or selling and not doing anything wrong, or being a success or minding their own business or supporting each other.
This tax fraud comes in many forms. As do we. But right now it's Princess Swirling Twatnut Gridle Snapper and you WILL ADDRESS ME AS SUCH!!!
As you will read our blog everyday (or we will come to your house and MAKE you), you will get familiar with the types of tax evaders. You will also become familar with petty, bitter, vindictative, lying, flat out nastiness, something we take very seriously and perfect on a daily, if not hourly basis.
As concerned citizens, our group (you've met a few) believes that our government needs every cent from these fraudulent online businesses as much as we need meds on a daily basis, but fail to take them, apparently. We are here to investigate and report to our government REAL PROOF AS WE MAKE IT UP about these fraudulent online sellers.
The outcome of these complaints does not interest us, but we WILL POST OUR OWN version of events as fact. According to our research, which we conducted in our own special place' if you have been tax evading our government, the penalty in doing so, will be hard to face.
DON'T LOOK AT IT!!!!
It will stop your joy of selling and owning an online business. (Nah, I'd say she's made it even more fun, wouldn't you?)
'We' are here to investigate and report to the Authorities, if we feel that sellers are engaging in tax fraud or selling and not doing anything wrong, or being a success or minding their own business or supporting each other.
This tax fraud comes in many forms. As do we. But right now it's Princess Swirling Twatnut Gridle Snapper and you WILL ADDRESS ME AS SUCH!!!
As you will read our blog everyday (or we will come to your house and MAKE you), you will get familiar with the types of tax evaders. You will also become familar with petty, bitter, vindictative, lying, flat out nastiness, something we take very seriously and perfect on a daily, if not hourly basis.
As concerned citizens, our group (you've met a few) believes that our government needs every cent from these fraudulent online businesses as much as we need meds on a daily basis, but fail to take them, apparently. We are here to investigate and report to our government REAL PROOF AS WE MAKE IT UP about these fraudulent online sellers.
The outcome of these complaints does not interest us, but we WILL POST OUR OWN version of events as fact. According to our research, which we conducted in our own special place' if you have been tax evading our government, the penalty in doing so, will be hard to face.
DON'T LOOK AT IT!!!!
It will stop your joy of selling and owning an online business. (Nah, I'd say she's made it even more fun, wouldn't you?)
Monday, July 27, 2009
COULD WE GET ANY STUPIDER?!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
FRAUD FRAUD, handmade Jewelry Artisan fraud online seller
UPDATE on FRAUD , FRAUD, handmade jewelry artisan online seller.We have mentioned this seller in our previous posts, please go read that post again: It wont make any more sense this time, but we are THAT NEEDY!!!
One of our group members MEANING ME, MYSELF, AND I AND MYSELF AND I AND ME, resident of the State of Texas, and Dark Ruler of the Nether World, has bought from HER Artfire online shop where I wasBANNED!!!! I hope you ALL see what we do for YOU the TAXPAYER because it is REALLY hard to get an alter to open a Pilpay account. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to type when you don't exist? DO YOU????It's really, really hard.
Our group member (Yes, 'member' is a word that comes to mind) or as we like to call them our alters, has paid for this item using pilpayl. WITH ALL OUR INFO SO SHE KNOWS WHO WE ARE!!!!
Even though this seller, REFUSED to sell to ME, the Queen Duchess Teapot Haberdashery and she has a Texas State Sales Tax permit for her online business, DAMN, that false report didn't work, she DID NOT collect %8.25 Sales Tax for the State of Texas !!!!!!!!!!
NOW, we are wondering (and apparenlty becoming increasingly desperate and mouth frothy) , if this seller filed ALL her online business income (that she got into her paypal account) to the IRS or not? Because isn't that theLOGICAL ASSUMPTION!!! We (alters) KNOW that anyone who REFUSES TO SELL TO US AND THEN DOESN'T CHARGE SALES TAX ON THAT NON SALE IS HIDING SOMETHING!!!!
Hence (I used to like that word) REPORTED not only to the Texas State Comptrollers office in Austin, TX, but ALSO to the Texas Department of Revenue, Enforcement agency who (LIKE THE PRETEND MEMBERS OF HAFS DOESN'T EXIST) has a CRIMINAL COMPLAINT WITH THE CID DIVISION AGAINST ME FILED BY THE LAST COMPTROLLER I MANIPULATED:
her paypal account name, paypal email address, the transaction where she did NOT collect tax for the Texas State, her address, phone number, and all her selling venue infos along with her dog's name, my shoe size and the location of Jimmy Hoffas body (who now channels through me). WHICH THEY ALREADY HAVE IN THE CRIMINAL COMPLAINT AGAINST ME!!!
DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!!! (This woman does realize she is NOT a state, right?)
Bait bait bait ;-)
(Honestly , I can't even address that it's so twisted. Although I did throw up in my mouth a little.)
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