Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Hello? HeLLo?!

"Texas Tax Office, may I help you?"
"This is the little old lady who lives down the street and.."
"Ugli? Is this you?"
"Nooooo, it's just me, the little old.."
"Ugli, we have you on caller ID"
"Yes, it is me, Deep Throat again."
"You know, ME! The 'Crusader For Bringing Handmade Artisans to Their Knees'person, with another hot tip!"
"Oh, so this IS - - this is Ugli, again." *deep sigh*
"I prefer Crusader Goddess but whatever - - I have new information on a person who has had an Ebay account for 8 years - - AND they now sell online - - AND they don't have a Paypal business account - - and they listed a bead as CHERRY colored when clearly it is Vermillon!"
"Ugli, look we don't have time to send Larry out again and.."
*Larry makes wide sweeping motions with arms and sign of the cross*
"No! I have SCREENSHOTS! And a receipt! And I found this old posting they left on a CNN forum saying they drove an SUV - - They are badddd, badddd to the bone!"
"Look, Ugli, we appreciate your efforts but you have already called in 76 tips that cost our department our holiday in Vegas so really, we can't.."
"But just today they posted online that they are adding a new line! And you won't get your tax dollars! It is leather goods!"
"Its my lunch hour, Ma'am, I really have to go now..."
*makes crazy sign with finger beside head*
"But DO THEY TAN THE LEATHER AT THEIR HOUSE? I AM A CONCERNED CITIZEN! Do they pay taxes on the cows, the feed, the hay, is their house properly assessed as a livestock stock yard - - WHY are you NOT taking this seriously!?!?"
"Ugli, the lunch specials at Carlos' end in 5 minutes, I really have to go.
Thank you for.."
"You are NOT going to eat lunch when these FRAUDS are stealing money from.."
*waves madly to co worker mouthing "Call my name!"
"Oh, see that? Gotta go, tax emergency!!"

*anon source for article and another for the visual.
What, you thought I got ALL the glory?

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